A very long time ago, in the summer of 1957. OMG, that IS a long time ago.
Well, I was a little girl growing up on the east coast. Hot and humid. Running around the yard with my brothers, covered in sweat. I noticed my brothers had their shirts off. “Hey, Mom, I’m gonna take my shirt off.” “No”, she said. Girls don’t do that. “Well, why not?”
No Answer. But I knew something was very wrong here. After all, I looked the same as the boys on the top. Too hot and very pissed off. Some kind of major inequality here. I can remember the anger I felt at age 5. Why do I have all these restrictions that they don’t have. Why?
Well, I never got any answers. A few years later came all of those horrible body changes, and I lost my chance to go shirtless for a long time. With ugly glasses, stupid looking hair, braces, and pimples, I was a lost cause for awhile. And these dolls are what I remember feeling like back then, homely and angry. The anger made me strong.
Years later I moved to Austin, Texas, where it was even MORE hot and humid. There I discovered Barton Springs and got to run around as much as I damn well pleased. TOPLESS. I found true JOY, and to top it all off, I got pretty, too. So THERE !!! Here I am, all happy, even with my top on. That doesn’t matter anymore. What does matter is making my own rules that make sense to me.
But still today, I don’t let anybody put their nonsense rules in MY life. Only MY nonsense is allowed. So, me and Homely Girl #1, we’re best friends now. I think this is what people mean when they say to Make Peace with your Inner Child.
So, who were you when you were only five? Need to make your own kind of peace?